Since mid-September, I've been coming down to Bob and Kathleen's every other day to work. The afternoons at the Gunther house are relatively quiet and peaceful, filled with the tapping of keys, cups of green tea, and the pure, unrivalled wit of myself and the Gunthers. Quiet and peaceful, that is, until around 4, when the kids come thumping through the front door. But I don't mind the distraction. In fact, I quite enjoy the company of Neva and Milo (Willa usually doesn't come home until after I've left), and I sometimes joke with my girlfriend that Milo is a bad influence on me. Whenever I say something immature enough to provoke a reproving glance, I can only shrug at my girlfriend, and say, "It's Milo's fault." She doesn't believe me, but the joke will usually get me off the hook for whatever inanity I've committed. The negative outcome, though, is that my girlfriend now sees me as a "big kid," which hasn't done my self-esteem any favours.
The other day, Milo came home from school and asked his mom if he could share a small bag of chips with me, as he often does. She told him he could, but only if he had some fruit. And so, Milo arrived at my desk with a bag of chips and two apples: one for me, one for him. Now that, as I later told my girlfriend, is what I call a good friend. Always inclusive, thinking of others. At least, sometimes.
Yesterday, as 5 o'clock slowly rolled around, and I started to get ready to leave, Milo invited me to stay a bit longer to play with him. We hadn't yet had a chance to wear our "invisible glasses," or eat our single serving bag of chips, and since I really didn't have anything planned for the evening, I gladly accepted my young friend's invitation. I put my shoes away, and we sat at the computer and watched a couple Nascar clips. But within a few moments, I removed my invisible glasses and migrated into Bob's office, to get some advice on a website I've recently launched (SouthernMostReview.com).
It didn't take long for Milo to follow me in, and he spent the next five minutes trying to grab our attention. To, as any good friend would, be inclusive. He handed us some magnetic darts, and encouraged us to throw them at the dartboard. Though Bob and I both played along, Milo could tell, I think, that we weren't really paying attention to the game. That our hearts weren't in it. We were taking too long between turns, and expressing very little excitement over the outcomes of our throws. And so, by about the third half-hearted toss, Milo collected the darts and put them in my hands. I was about to throw again, but he ordered me not to.
"Why not?" I asked.
Milo didn't answer my question. Instead he said, "Mike, you ... you can go now."
"I can throw?"
"No. You can leave. You're not supposed to be here anyway."
I started to laugh. I couldn't help it. Milo often says some pretty funny things, but I could tell by the furrow in his brow that he wasn't kidding. So Bob intervened, tried to explain that he and I were involved in something, and needed a bit of time. But Milo wasn't having any of that.
"No," he said. "It's late. You were supposed to leave a long time ago. So you can go now, okay? You're not supposed to be here." And with that, Milo left the room.
Now, I may not be the shiniest toy in the toy box, but I know how to take a hint. I guess good friends don't just try to be inclusive. They also aren't afraid to let you know, by whatever means necessary, when you're no longer welcome. Needless to say, like being called a "big kid" by my girlfriend, being rejected by a friend 20 years my junior hasn't done my self-esteem any favours either.
Michael Murphy
Guest Writer and Heck of a Nice Guy, ContestHound.com
