Princess Pay, A King's Ransom ...

Hello Everyone.

My 5-1/2 year old daughter Neva has come to the conclusion that it's time for her to get an allowance. She started learning the value of money long ago when she played with Mommy's credit card as a baby. Even at that time I knew we were headed for trouble. She never wanted to give the credit card back.

Nearly a week has passed since Neva mentioned it for the first time. Since then she has decided that trading her time and effort for money is not just a noble deed but one worth about 5 bucks. Just to be clear here, she doesn’t mean $5 per week. No, little Miss Corporate Mogul here thinks we should pay her $5 for each chore she does.

So, it comes as no surprise that Neva is suddenly much more helpful around the house. I guess she’s trying to prove that she is worthy of such a lofty pay scale.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Father Nose Best ...

Hello Everyone.

Editor's Note: Sorry about the absence of the newsletter over the past two weeks, all 5 of us had our February cold. This is not to be confused with the January cold and the March cold which are different.

Each time one of my kids has a birthday it shakes me up a bit. Our youngest daughter Willa just turned one the other week. An entire year flew by and I can't account for the time between Willa's birth and her birthday. What have I been doing for the past 12 months?

During that time Willa's achievements have been numerous. She learned to crawl, walk and climb, spoke her first words, began playing with toys to name a few. I'm still doing precisely the same thing I was doing a year ago. Nothing's changed for me.

Eventually I realize that the sameness is maybe not such a bad thing. My life is predictable and with that there is a certain comfort. Unlike Willa, I at least won't be surprised to find out that when I have a cold, I shouldn’t lick my nose.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Going Bananas ...

Hello Everyone.

Back in December, my husband Bob asked if I wanted a banana tree for Christmas. Not the organic, fruit-bearing kind, but the wooden, fruit-hanging version that stands on your countertop. Although our kids are voracious banana eaters, I simply couldn't justify spending the money on a gizmo when a fruit bowl works just fine.

I relented this week, however, when the banana tree was in the clearance bin at the grocery store. I brought it home, put it together and happily hung a nice bunch of bananas on it.

Later that day I walk into the kitchen, only to find our banana tree empty and five loose bananas at its base, as if it had shed its leaves.

"What happened here?" I asked 5-year-old Neva, who was eating the evidence.

"I wanted the one with the sticker on it."

Banana tree for sale!

Happy sweeping,

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com

Bouillon Brigade ...

Hello Everyone.

A child's imagination never ceases to amaze and amuse me. From my toddler's use of an escargot plate for a steering wheel to my 5-year-old's "imaginary friend", Ian, the vinegar bottle. And a kitchen is a veritable make-believe wonderland for kids.

The other day, all 3 of my children showed me the many different "uses" of chicken bouillon. And none of them had anything to do with eating -- not surprising for my kids, really, but that's another story altogether.

It started when Willa, now 11 months old and into everything, discovered a box of bouillon packets in the cupboard. She shook, squished, twisted and threw those little envelopes like nobody's business. Then 2 1/2-year-old Milo picked up all those that were still flat and dealt them out to all of us. "Cards!" he happily declared. Finally, Neva (the bottle collector) came around collecting our "tickets" to the next show.

So the next time you're in the grocery aisle and you see the chicken bouillon, think of my clever kids. And then pick some up for me, because I have no idea where mine is now!

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Take Da Poll ...

Hello Everyone.

There is quite the controversy brewing in our household. It has pitted my wife Kathleen squarely against me. She stands firm in her opinion even though I know she is wrong. So I turn to you, our loyal readers, to offer your insights so that we may settle this dispute once and for all.

Baby Willa is 11 months old and she's been chattering away making all sorts of sounds for months now. Recently, I started asking her: "If you're Willa, who am I?" and she'd answer with "Da-Da". "Who's that?" I'd ask pointing at Kathleen, and Willa would respond with "sssth", which means fish as far as I’m concerned.

I understand that Kathleen isn't a fish. That's not the problem. My wife however denies that Willa's first word is "Da-Da". Kathleen tries, in vain I might add, to prove that Willa answers "Da-Da" to anything asked of her. "If you're a pickle, what's the time?" she asks. Willa answers "Duh-Duh," which clearly is not the same as "Da-Da". Try it, it's different. Da-Da, Duh-Duh. See?

Since all of you are sitting there talking in baby speak to your computer, please help us settle this once and for all. Is Willa's first word "Da-Da"? You know it is. Click the link below to register your vote:

Click Here to Vote

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Happy New Year ...

Hello Everyone.

I have heard that some people believe looking back on the year just passed is bad luck for the coming new year. For me, looking back has never created enough anxiety. While many people are making New Year's Resolutions, I have my New Year's Reservations.

So what does 2005 have in store for the ContestHound.com household? I suspect that we'll have the regular drama and chaos that most parents have. Our oldest daughter Neva will turn 6 and start grade 1 in the fall and Willa, our youngest daughter, will be a year old in February. Squashed in the middle is Milo, who often finds himself squashed between things, will turn 3 in late spring.

For my wife Kathleen, hopefully she'll finally be able to sleep through the night, something she hasn't done in almost six years. And maybe not take the laundry too seriously. And for me, I'll probably be doing what I do best: obsessing about worrying too much.

Here's wishing all of you a Happy New Year filled with promise and hope and the strength and courage to face whatever challenges may come.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

So You Say ...

Hello Everyone.

My 2 1/2-year-old son Milo loves to talk with loads of enthusiasm. He's really polite too. Hand him a pair of socks and he's sure to say "Oh thank you Daddy!". Here are some other Milo-isms:

chicken shake --> kitchen sink
do it, self! --> do it by myself!
Bava hab it dis --> Neva has this
eat it dis? --> eat this?
my puthle gether --> put my puzzle together
sgoob-gobber --> screwdriver
bluedy werger (or "varger") --> blueberry yogurt
home peepo --> Home Depot
sheh-shie --> french fries
Toma Chank-En --> Thomas the Tank Engine
kepich --> ketchup
peter putter --> peanut butter

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Keep On Moving ...

Hello Everyone.

You might think that by the amount of boxes in our house that Christmas spending in the ContestHound.com household was at an all-time high. Instead those boxes are what is left from our latest adventure.

Seems that we packed up absolutely everything we own and carried it across the lawn to the house next door. And with each trip, we kept seeing our neighbor doing exactly the same thing in the opposite direction. You see, we swapped apartments with the folks next door.

Which explains why the newsletter has been absent for the past couple of weeks. Speaking of absent, anyone know where I packed ...

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Say Cheese ...

Hello Everyone.

It's that time of year when many families go to get 350 wallet sized family photos that they send with their holiday greeting cards to their closet friends, many of whom they haven't spoken to in years.

My 2 1/2-year old son Milo sat patiently for 23 seconds. We got some great shots of 5 year-old Neva making faces and a couple of baby Willa crawling out of range of the camera.

The photographer had me lying on my side with Milo sitting on my legs. My wife Kathleen and Neva where in behind resting their arms on me and Willa was held in the arm that I wasn't using to support myself. Too bad we didn't get a picture of everyone tumbling around after I collpased under the weight.

And suddenly our session was over. Of the dozen or so pictures, we found one single photo that had all of us in the frame, looking at the camera and smiling.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

SHHHHH ...

Hello Everyone.

Recently I have been pondering the animal kingdom. Do their offspring make anywhere near as much noise as my 9-month-old daughter Willa? I would think that yelling at the top of their lungs would attract all sorts of unwanted attention. Willa fortunately only attracts the odd annoyed glances from passers-by.

The thing is, she's not distressed, it's more like she's talking loudly. Very loudly. At first I thought she was just trying to keep up with her older siblings, but then I remembered that my oldest, Neva, did the same thing when she was an infant. Now, Neva watches TV with the sound turned way up.

I have been trying to figure out ways to curtail the yelling. It may not be the best solution but, when her mouth's wide open, I can easily get a Cheerio in Willa's mouth silencing her temporarily while she chews it.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Food for Thought ...

Hello Everyone.

When my two oldest, Neva and Milo, were babies, I followed the book on infant feeding. I started with all the traditional and "accepted" baby foods and progressed methodically from pureed grains and veggies to lumps and chunks, carefully watching for sensitivities and allergies. New tastes and textures were not introduced until after the prescribed time period had elapsed, safely and uneventfully, since the last new food. Nothing passed my baby's lips unless I approved it first.

Then along came Willa. I was in no hurry to introduce solid food. Quite frankly, I didn’t have the time. So when I did give her her first food it was more out of convenience. I was eating a banana. So Willa had some. And since that "unconventional" start, nothing’s been the same. She refused a spoon for the first month or two, accepting only food by hand. I have managed to get through some of the standard fare, however, she just keeps eating more and more things that aren’t on the menu. She has eaten plenty of scraps from Neva and Milo’s plates: muffins, grilled cheese, pork chops. But more troublesome than that are the rather unorthodox items. Take, for instance, the gravel in the bottom of the plant in the bathroom. Or the red play-dough she was munching on this afternoon. (Boy was that a treat to clean up!)

Oddly enough, despite all my efforts to start Neva and Milo off right, they are rather picky eaters. Milo, now 2 ½, wouldn’t eat a vegetable to save his life. And Neva cries treason if there’s even so much as sauce fumes on her pizza or pasta.

Happy sweeping,

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com

Another Day of Fatherhood ...

Hello Everyone.

There was snow on the ground when we woke up this morning. When my 5-year-old daughter Neva discovered it, she announced enthusiastically that school was cancelled, which it was not of course. Neva and I managed to scrape together a few snowballs and mercilessly throw them at one another before she went off to school.

My son Milo spent most of the afternoon singing an eclectic medley of the "Bob the Builder" theme song and the old club standard "YMCA". This led me to wonder if all 2 1/2 year-olds are tone deaf.

Baby Willa followed me around on and off for the better part of the day. When she is happy, she has a habit of scrunching up her nose and making sniffing noises. I guess now I know what it must be like to be a dog.

In other words, nothing out of the ordinary.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Something About Nothing ...

Hello Everyone.

Sometimes when I sit down to write the stories about my kids I end up going completely blank. Today is one of those days. It's not that I don't have anything to say, that's never, ever happened to me, but what I do have to talk about doesn't seem to be very interesting.

I had already had 4 or 5 false starts and now once again the page in front of me was blank. I made 17 trips to the kitchen, 4 to the bathroom, checked the mail, raided the kids' Halloween treats twice, tripped over a dozen toys and still the page waited for me to type something... anything.

I decided to go outside to sit on the top of the stairs to think. Just then the whole family returned home from grocery shopping. As my wife Kathleen carried the groceries in, Neva and Milo played outside. I was fascinated by how wonderfully they played together, like best friends, totally unaware that I was watching them.

They'll be fine when they grow up, I thought to myself.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Customer Service ...

Hello Everyone.

Banks should know better than to put their brochures so low that a certain 2-year-old little boy named Milo can reach them. But then again, perhaps they foresaw the outcome.

It was late in the day and for whatever bizarre reason, my wife Kathleen and I piled all three of our kids into the truck and went to the bank. We weren't in there a minute when Neva and Milo were off running amuck. Baby Willa sat on my lap as I slumped in one of those wonderfully comfortable chairs all banks seem to have.

I was really quite relaxed and totally engrossed in Willa's babble when I noticed Milo. Seems that he had grabbed a bunch of those brochures I was talking about and was politely handing them out as he made his way through the line-up of customers.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Green Thumb ...

Hello Everyone.

I do like gardening, but I don't take as much an active part in it as my husband Bob does. He has his books and seed catalogs -- the arrival of which brightens up his otherwise bleak and dreary February like nobody's business. He marks the pages with sticky notes and highlights his choices in green. (The pink highlighter is reserved for our 5-year-old daughter Neva's selections.)

He has his garden plotted out shortly after and knows what crops should be rotated where. He starts the seedlings in March and has them in the cold frame before we've even doffed our winter coats. He turns the soil by hand -- how else? -- and surveys the bricked pathways to see how it faired through the cold weather.

It's much more than a hobby for him. It's a passion, if a bit obsessive. And it's hard not to get caught up in it. But I must say, even I was surprised when, while scolding Neva for tracking dirt all through the apartment when she brought me fresh carrots she just pulled from the garden, I couldn't help but think as I shook her pants out in the tub:

"Wow! That's really nice soil!"

Happy sweeping,

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com

Clever?

Hello Everyone.

What kids can do is often really amazing. Take for instance my 5-year-old daughter Neva and some of her accomplishments. Just the other day, she found three one-foot long tree branches and colored them completely with chalk. It takes some kind of patience to fill every nook and cranny, but that's what she did.

Then, a short while later, she discovered that if nobody's looking she can climb to the top of our bedroom dresser and jump off of it, landing on our bed. Without hurting herself! Even more impressive is that she likely jumped a number of times before we even caught on.

It takes some creativity and imagination to come up and carry out such endeavors. And yet, even though she has been told a hundred times, I am baffled as to why Neva still can't seem to wash her hands with soap.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Age Old Story ...

Hello Everyone.

As soon they start to talk, we teach our kids say how old they are. This is what I heard after my husband Bob taught that lesson to our 2-year-old son.

Bob: "How old are you, Milo?"

Milo: "Two-free-four."

Bob: "No, how old are you?"

Milo: "Two!"

Bob: "How old is Mommy?"

Milo: "Two old."

Me: "Milo's two years old? Good boy!"

Milo: "No, Mommy too old!"

When eight-month-old Willa starts talking, remind me to teach her myself!

Happy sweeping,

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com

Fall's Lament ...

Hello Everyone.

It's fall in our part of the world, the weather has turned rather cool and the wind, now coming from the east, sends a chill right through you. Leaves are falling from the branches that they have called home for an entire summer and the days are rapidly getting shorter. But the true calling of autumn is not found in the arms of mother nature, no, what really signals the coming of winter is the five runny noses that live in our home.

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

Tiny Bubbles ...

Hello Everyone.

"Can I play in the sink?"

Six simple words and, one would think a relatively benign request. However, it's something I always hesitate to agree to. You see, my daughter Neva (whose new greeting to people is, "Hi! I'm five!") loves water and, like her father and brother, water likes her. It also likes the counter and the chair she stands on and the floor!

Reluctantly, I agreed. It's only water, Kathleen, I reassure myself. And sure enough water is everywhere and Neva is soaked when I return a little later. She is "washing" the dishes on the counter with hand soap and a sponge. The floor is a mess of wet bubbles.

"Please use this tea towel to wipe up when you're done," I ask, pointing to one that is ready for the laundry anyway.

"I already used that one," she says, pointing to the clean one I just put out before dinner. Sigh. It's only a tea towel, I reassure myself again. At least she has already thought to wipe the floor, although where I can't tell.

"Well, please wipe up and come get in the bath. It's time for bed," I add before I go.

Minutes pass and there is still no sign of Neva in the bathroom. I go back to the kitchen to remind her to wipe up and get moving. And there she is, drying all her "washed" dishes and putting them away. The oven drawer is open to put the pie plates away where they belong. They are still covered in bubbles. She is drying some Tupperware with the tea towel she used to wipe the floor. It, too, is still mostly covered in bubbles when it goes in the cupboard.

I stop myself from correcting her because Neva is beaming and couldn't be prouder of the great job she is doing.

And neither could I. Bubbles and all!

Happy sweeping,

Kathleen Gunther
Editor, ContestHound.com

Toy Training ...

Hello Everyone.

My 2-year-old son's train collection is growing at a rapid pace. He has no less than three hand-made wooden trains, a growing set of Thomas the Tank Engine trains, cars and track and a few odd lots of locomotives and freight cars.

Rather than stuff his trains in the green box where they normally would be kept, the other night I decided that a new, bigger home would be in order. So there were Milo and I cleaning up. I would put a few pieces in the new box, he would take out just as many. Eventually I got the better of him and managed to get them all put away.

Since it was now empty, I put his toy cars into the green box rather than having them strewn around as was generally the custom. Feeling rather pleased with myself I went off to bed.

Early the next morning I awoke to the sounds of toy cars being thrown onto the hardwood floor in our living room. One after another went crashing down in rapid succession. Milo was furiously emptying the new box of cars. I knew he had come to an end when I heard him exclaim: "Oh oh, choo-choo gone!"

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com