Thursday, November 17, 2005

Driving Miss Crazy ...

Editor: After about a half dozen false starts on writing a story for this issue, I've finally decided to recycle one from a few years ago. This story was first published on June 18, 2002.

Lately I have been contemplating the wisdom of having car seats for the kids. Safety issues not withstanding, I wonder why they exist in the first place. The process of getting a child into a car seat is certainly a conspiracy to keep parents with young children out of shopping malls, libraries and other public places. Little wonder.

For my 2 1/2-year-old daughter Neva, the journey to the car seat begins in the front of our truck behind the steering wheel -- you know, the place where all the buttons are within arm's reach. After repeatedly lunging after her, I finally manage to wrestle the giggling Gertie into the back of the truck. Cornering her with my shoulder, I use my upper body to contain her as I struggle to harness her into place using both hands to adjust the straps. As I bang my head for a second time, it occurs to me that an engineer designed this chair.

A little ruffled, I climb into the driver's seat, close the door and start the truck. Quickly realizing the radio is on full volume, I turn it down, then turn off the windshield wipers, turn signal, air conditioner and rear window defrost. After replacing the contents of the glove box, I buckle myself in before readjusting all the mirrors.

Okay, ready to go ...

"Daddy, I gotta go pee."

Happy sweeping,

Bob Gunther
Webmaster, ContestHound.com

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